The other day I was at the gym for my usual cross-training fix and one of the circuit stations was slamming a 10 kilos rubber ball onto the floor. I always enjoy that exercise as I can really visualise letting go of my frustration and negative feelings, it is somewhat liberating. I know some people who even visualise someone's face on the mat as they smash the ball onto it.We all from time to time feel frustrated and want to take it out on who we think is the source of our annoyance.
As I was smashing it for the nth time and thinking about all this the phrase "you are not your thoughts" came to me as I finally realised what it actually means and how until now I have been thinking of it solely from my own perspective. I came across this sentence when I first started looking into mindfulness and meditation and read a few pieces by Ekhart Tolle.
We all have someone that we love very much that sometime frustrate us or even make us angry , it could be a partner , a friend, a child or a parent. They may have an annoying habit when they eat or perhaps they say things that hurt our feelings or worse even they treat you badly. Guess what ? They are not their thoughts either!
When we interact with others we have our point of view and they have theirs , we think we are right , they also think they are right so who is right ? Well, we both are ...
This kind of mindful approach to interacting with others takes a lot of practice and patience and it is seldom about trying to understand the other person's point of view because as you try to do that you are already interpreting their words through your eyes and your own perception. What we are practising is acceptance of the fact that a different opinion may also be right.
During the holiday season as we come closer to our loved ones we may come across situations when our mind/ego are offended by someone's unkind or negative words for example , my resolve this year is to do the following :
1) when I feel offended I will pause and breath
2) when I feel hurt by words or actions I will pause and breath
3) when I want to reply back with hurtful words or actions I will remind myself that although I may not like their words or actions they are not that person , they are the fruit of their own mind games
4) when I feel I have had enough I will express my gratitude for having those people in my life and remember to be kind
Have a peaceful Christmas everyone xxx